


At a kiss' distance

by halahan



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: First Kiss, Game Night, M/M, Making out??, One Shot, adorable if u ask me, alcohol use (light), jongho is afraid of kissing, jongjoong being oblivious, maybe 1 or 2 curse words, n maybe a tad awkward, no beta we die like men, tipsy choi jongho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22664818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halahan/pseuds/halahan
Summary: Jongho has one fear: kissing. Enter Hongjoong, and Jongho might feel a little braver.
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Kim Hongjoong
Comments: 22
Kudos: 163





	At a kiss' distance

**Author's Note:**

> this is the first ateez fic i post, be gentle with me...

There is no simpler way to put it than as it is: Jongho is afraid of physical attention.

It had gotten better when joining ATEEZ because he really hadn’t had a choice. There were many factors, the first one being the on-screen chemistry being part of an idol group required, but even off screen Jongho could not possibly escape most of the members’ clinginess, so he’d had no choice but to grow accustomed to their hugs too – he even started to enjoy it, the warmth and comfort it provided him much appreciated, but he wouldn’t admit that yet.

It was step by step, a quick hug from Wooyoung here, Mingi hugging his arm there, Yunho crossing his arm on the younger’s shoulders, resting his chin atop Jongho’s head, San randomly jumping on his back, holding Yeosang’s hand for the Wave choreography – as fan service, then because he realized he actually enjoyed it.

However he drew the line at kissing.

That he was sure he’d made very clear, _no kissing_. But Jongho should have known, he should have realized that telling his members he didn’t like kisses would only make them want to annoy him more with it. They usually teased him, throwing kisses as a joke and starting to run when Jongho pretended to get up to chase them. This was alright, playful, and with his strength he knew no one would actually _try_ to kiss him.

Jongho hadn’t thought about it possibly being used as punishment. Especially _game punishment_.

The punishment for losing the telepathy game that one time was still engraved in his brain. First of all because it had been a terrible experience, letting his hyungs kiss him then having to kiss _them_ too. Second of all because no one would stop teasing him about it afterwards, not the fans and never in a million years the members.

No one but Hongjoong. Jongho sometimes wondered if it was because as leader he thought it would be best to not give in to the other members’ antics, or if it was because he wasn’t so big on physical attention either. He wasn’t _scared_ of it as Jongho would say he was, but he didn’t seem to go around hugging and kissing people just because he wanted to.

Not that Jongho would mind if he actually did, for reasons he did his best not to make obvious.

See the thing about not being touchy is that the ‘try to get close to them, hold their hand and play with their hair’ advice in the how-to-make-your-crush-understand-you-like-them-without-actually-having-to-confess-and-maybe-face-rejection category – which is absolutely not a category Jongho had made up in his head, but back to the important part – the thing is that you can’t really _do that_ without looking absolutely suspicious. Trust Jongho, he had tried. Multiple times.

That one time when the staff had told them to go two by two while walking and Jongho had joked that they were treated like toddlers, grabbing Hongjoong’s hand and jokingly throwing it back and forth like he indeed was a toddler. It made Jongho’s skin tingle, but Hongjoong had taken his hand back, shouting a little too loud ‘yah!’ and making his own cheeks glow a deeper shade from yelling.

Or when all eight of them had found the time to watch a movie together so they’d gathered in front of the TV screen, and Jongho spotted a seat on the couch next to Hongjoong. Obviously he’d made a run for it, and snuggled against the leader, their thighs pressed against each other. Except that wasn’t taking into account that on Hongjoong’s other side was Yunho, and Mingi had also tried taking a seat next to him. Four people on the couch was acceptable, just not four that included the group’s two giants and the group’s buffest member. Hongjoong had let out a huff before cursing at Mingi and leaving the couch for a larger spot on the ground. Hongjoong had fallen asleep around the middle of the movie, as he was known to, and his head had fallen a little, resting on Jongho’s knee. Jongho found it cute but knowing that it could have been on his shoulder instead made him go red in the cheeks.

And the list could go on, every time Jongho tried to get close to Hongjoong, but too awkwardly or too clumsily for Hongjoong to get the hint, so the leader would always pull away. Jongho had stopped trying in fear of him making Hongjoong uncomfortable.

* * *

“Game night!!” Wooyoung screamed when their late practice had gotten canceled – something about the power being down at the company building.

Hongjoong grunted, “I was planning on working...” He quickly stopped his sentence when Wooyoung looked at him with a frown, saying “Planned that what, a minute ago?”, and most of the others looked at him with pleading eyes.

Hongjoong shot a look at Jongho, who hadn’t voiced or shown his opinion yet, as if gathering votes.

“I mean,” Jongho said with a small smile on his lips – not because Hongjoong was depending on his opinion, nope – and he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s been a while since we’ve all just… hung out. It would be nice.”

Hongjoong sighed, and the boys cheered around him, knowing he had given in. Jongho was a little proud of being the one that convinced Hongjoong – even if the leader probably wanted one negative opinion to side with him – and maybe a little jealous of the way Wooyoung hugged Hongjoong’s side, along with Mingi putting his hands on the leader’s shoulders and San clinging to his arm.

Seonghwa and Yunho made space in the living room so the eight boys could sit on the ground and set up the games while Yeosang and San went to order food and soju ( _no game night without a little alcohol_ , claimed Wooyoung – who seemed to have been taking over the night’s organization as he was the one to suggest it in the first place).

The rules were simple: they were going to play a variety of games, in teams and on their own, you lose you drink, and the person that accumulated the most losses would get an extra punishment.

They played Werewolf, Uno and other classic card games, Pictionary, Ddakji and a few other games which Jongho is not sure he can remember after losing most of them. The problem with the you-lose-you-drink rule – which Hongjoong and Seonghwa had initially been against as they still had to work the next day – is that the more you lose, the more you drink, and the more you lose. It’s a cycle that once you enter, you can never leave.

Well, until the clock rings 1AM, or the time set as being the end of game night. Jongho has had what, four? Five drinks? It’s not _that_ many drinks but alas for him, it’s apparently more than the others have. Jongho whines, falling back on the floor as the members laugh at his endearing behavior. Even Hongjoong – a mostly winning member, thus a mostly sober member – is chuckling lightly next to him.

“Everyone else gather around!” Yunho says with a large smile, “we need to decide on his penalty!”

Jongho grunts, but he sits back up, passing the time playing with a loose thread in his jeans as he sits cross-legged waiting for them to decide. Jongho can’t decipher what they’re saying between the laughs and the protests, and he can’t be bothered to really pay attention until the seven others split up, gaining their place on the floor once again.

San, Mingi and Yeosang look particularly mischievous. It truly should make Jongho suspect _something_ but at the same time it’s supposed to be a punishment, nothing really good can come of the members ganging up against him.

It’s the night game master that speaks up, he’s still standing up, hands on his hips and a large smile.

“My dear Jongho,” he starts, making the youngest in the room whisper “Oh boy,” which only Hongjoong seems to hear as he lets out a small chuckle.

Wooyoung continues, his voice basically dripping with honey with a sweetness so fake it sounds like the flirty villains in movies, “as you are the night’s loser, you will have to face your greatest fear… Kissing.”

Jongho gasps. He doesn’t literally gasp, although Yunho does for a dramatic effect, but he feels his own mouth drop at the news, eyes growing round.

“But as we are merciful, we decided to leave you a choice!” San looks like he’s the one that had the idea for the alternate punishment, and Seonghwa looks like he regrets suggesting to offer a second option. Jongho just gulps and waits for his sentence. “You can either give us all a kiss on the cheek,” Jongho’s face twists in disgust, “or kiss one person of your choice on the lips,” Seonghwa face-palms on the side of the circle opposite to Jongho’s.

“What the—” Jongho starts, but he’s truly speechless. _Not again._

“Come on!” Yeosang chips, a little too obviously enjoying the situation. Which is understandable since he’s the one that lost the last game night.

Jongho whines and complains a little more, and even Seonghwa starts pushing him to just _get it over with already._

“Fine!” Jongho breaks.

It really happens in a split second, one moment he’s throwing his arms in the air as members claim victory, the other he’s grabbing Hongjoong by the shoulder and connecting their mouths, taking the leader by surprise – judging by the close-mouthed yelp he lets out.

Maybe if Jongho had been sober he would’ve just left a light peck on the leader’s lips, as Wooyoung hadn’t been precise about the kind of kiss, but he is definitely not.

So when Jongho kisses Hongjoong, he _kisses_ Hongjoong. It’s a soft press against the older but it’s there nonetheless. Jongho had closed his eyes, but the angle is such that he can feel Hongjoong’s eyelashes flutter against his cheek. Hongjoong closed his eyes. Jongho feels a hand come to rest on his knee, and he takes it as an opportunity to start _moving._ And _boy,_ has Jongho wanted that.

Jongho won’t brag about it because he’s not a very experienced kisser. He has kissed girls before, maybe one boy, but those were middle school kisses, they had never lasted more than a few seconds. Although even lacking that experience, the kiss doesn’t feel awkward to him. It’s clumsy, yes, their lips moving out of sync and their tongues never bold enough to adventure further than a small lick here and there.

The hand on Jongho’s knee’s hold tightens, and Jongho feels Hongjoong gasp for air. It didn’t really feel like a long time, so Jongho doesn’t know if it’s because he indeed was out of breath or if it has something to do with the way they kissed.

They part, for a second only looking into each other’s eyes. Jongho doesn’t understand what he sees, but he’s sure he’s never seen it before in Hongjoong’s eyes. Not towards him and not towards anyone else. Hongjoong is the first to break eye contact, his head dipping and his hand leaving Jongho’s leg like it had burned him.

When Jongho looks around he only sees shock. His eyes travel all around the circle and all six members that aren’t Hongjoong are looking at him, wide eyes and open mouths.

“What?” Jongho says blankly. He’s not drunk enough to not actually know _what_ but he sure is drunk enough to pretend he doesn’t.

“I—” It’s San that is the first to speak up. “I thought you– I just said that because– It was just– s-so you wouldn’t have a choice but to kiss every single one of us.” His voice cracking at the word ‘kiss’.

It’s silent for a few more seconds before Wooyoung’s smile returns, bigger than ever, and he gets ready to squeal. But Hongjoong chooses this exact moment to get up and clap his hands.

“That’s it!” he says a little too loudly, “Everyone to bed and be ready in the practice room tomorrow at 10:30!”

Thus, everyone including Hongjoong take the opportunity to simply bolt to their own rooms. Jongho is the last one up of his feet and he first stops by the bathroom, locking behind him.

Only when he faces himself in the mirror does he realize how red he is. Jongho puts his hands on both sides of the sink and drops his head, letting out a sigh that turns into a whine.

“Choi Jongho what were you _thinking!_?”

He opens the water tap and starts splashing his face, then just says ‘fuck it’ and starts taking his clothes off, quickly jumping in the shower.

Jongho hits his head against the wall multiple times, some on purpose, murmuring insults at his _dumb ass_ self, and some not, just because he doesn’t have full control of his balance.

As quickly as he’d gotten in, he gets out, not wanting to bother his friends with the sound of the shower. Not having taken spare clothes with him, Jongho just puts his gym shorts back on, just so he can go back to his room with at least some decency.

He opens the door with one hand, while the other is busy drying his hair with a towel, and on the other side stands Hongjoong, fist in the air visibly getting ready to knock on the door.

“Oh,” they say in sync.

“You wanted to use the bathroom?” Jongho says, trying not to sound as awkward as he feels, “I tried to do quickly but I’m kind of losing sense of time after… yeah.”

“Right,” Hongjoong says. _Did Jongho just see Hongjoong trying his best not to check him out? No, he must be projecting. He_ wishes _Hongjoong would check him out._ “No I thought it was… Someone else, I was going to tell them to hurry to sleep.”

“Ah, sorry,” Jongho chuckles, “I’ll get to that then.”

Hongjoong nods with a tight smile, and gets out of the way, but as Jongho walks past him and towards his room, Hongjoong calls for him. “Wait!”

It causes a weird jump in Jongho’s chest. It kind of hurts but in a way Jongho has learned to associate with good things. Things like Hongjoong’s proud smile when he compliments Jongho, like the way Hongjoong calls him his favorite when the 99 line is being chaotic, like when Hongjoong’s arm touches his own. Things like the shy look Hongjoong wears when Jongho turns back towards him.

“Yes, hyung?” Jongho says with a voice smaller than he anticipated.

“Why– Why did you–” Hongjoong looks up from his hands to Jongho for a moment, before looking to the side with red cheeks, clearly struggling to voice a question Jongho already knows.

“I– It was the punishment...” Jongho says slowly, not even convincing himself.

Hongjoong looks at him and something tells Jongho he isn’t convinced either, maybe it’s the way he frowns a little, or maybe the way he takes half a step forward. “No, I mean– Why me?”

Hongjoong might be the oldest between the two of them, but in that instant he looks so small to Jongho, with his shy eyes and his fidgeting hands. Sometimes Jongho forgets that even though Hongjoong is the leader, he’s only two years older than him, he’s still a young man who’s trying to find his way in life. Maybe find his way next to Jongho. _He hopes he’s not projecting again._

So Jongho decides to also take half a step forward, to meet Hongjoong in the middle. “Why do you think?”

Hongjoong’s eyes go up to Jongho’s again. Their height difference isn’t that big, but Hongjoong still looks up, through his lashes. It does things to Jongho’s heart. “I– Was the closest?” he tries in a small voice, giving a small smile.

“No,” Jongho whispers. He didn’t think tonight would be the night he would confess, but he’s gone too far already to be able to go back. “No, hyung, that’s not the reason.”

They pause. Hongjoong doesn’t ask, but both of them know Jongho will answer anyway.

“I wanted to,” he finally admits.

Hongjoong seems to let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “You too, then.”

“Too?”

“Yes.”

“Does that mean I can...”

Hongjoong smiles. “Yes.”

Jongho smiles too and they close the gap, the leader taking Jongho’s hand in his own.

They kiss again. It feels more like a first kiss than their actual first did, because it’s soft and gentle, a series of small kisses planted against each other’s lips, Jongho’s hands snaking around Hongjoong’s waist and Hongjoong’s around Jongho’s shoulders and neck. It makes Jongho’s stomach do somersaults and if he didn’t know better he would think he was sick. But he knows better, so he just enjoys the kiss, and the warmth of the older’s body against his own, the fabric of his hoodie soft against Jongho’s bare skin.

Hongjoong smiles into the kiss, right before they break apart. He chuckles lightly.

“What?” Jongho chuckles with him.

“Nothing, I just– Didn’t think you liked me like that?”

Jongho takes a step back and his face shows genuine surprise. “Wait seriously? I’ve been trying to get close to you for _months_!”

Hongjoong pouts. “I thought you were just, I don’t know, trying to be more open to physical attention!”

“Only with you! But you kept pushing me away!” Jongho says, half scandalized and half laughing.

Hongjoong’s head falls backwards as he whines. “I couldn’t handle my feelings around you! I didn’t want it to look suspicious if I started hugging you or something!”

Jongho laughs, quietly at first, then a little louder, before he pulls Hongjoong into his chest again. “All due respect to you as my hyung and leader… I think we’ve been really dumb on this.”

Hongjoong laughs again and rests his forehead against Jongho’s, readjusting his arms, and playing with the hair still drying at the base of the younger’s head. “I guess we have.” He lifts his head again and smiles at Jongho. “No more being dumb asses, alright?”

“Alright,” Jongho says before he’s leaning in for a kiss again.

But right when their lips touch, and just before Jongho starts to close his eyes, he spots something in the corner of his eye. Or well, he spots _someone_ in the corner of _the hallway._ He pulls away and sees three heads coming from behind the wall. Brown hair, blond hair, lavender… He sighs.

“Hyungs. I can _see_ you.”

Hongjoong’s eyes grow wide as he turns around. However to Jongho’s greatest relief, he doesn’t step away from him, a hand on his shoulder as Jongho still holds him by the waist.

Yunho, Yeosang and Wooyoung step out from behind the wall and they don’t look sorry one bit, Wooyoung even looks ecstatic. “I’m so happy for you!” he says as he runs to them, hugging them both without warning.

The other two join them in a group hug and Jongho sighs before pushing all three of them off. “Yeah yeah,” he mumbles, sure that his blush shows that he’s not actually mad.

“I said get to bed,” Hongjoong says, looking at the spies.

“Why does Jongho get to stay!” Yunho complains.

“I’m his favorite, that should’ve been obvious by now, hyung.” Jongho chuckles.

Yunho sticks out his tongue but runs away to his room as soon as Jongho moves his arm in a fake attack. Wooyoung and Yeosang and also quick to take their leave, the latter shooting them a wink before he disappears.

Hongjoong snorts. “I kind of suspect that they knew.”

“I kind of suspect we were really obvious, but also really oblivious.”

The leader nods, and stands in front of Jongho again. He gives him a small kiss.

“I think you cured my fear of kissing, hyung, I could never get enough of this,” Jongho says, smirking.

Hongjoong huffs. “You’re so cheesy!” He hits his chest lightly, but his hand stays there, small palm against Jongho’s warm skin as he goes for a kiss. “You should get some sleep now, Jongho.”

Jongho hums, leaning in for another kiss before they walk down the hallway hand in hand, separating to go to their respective rooms.

“Good night, hyung.”

“Good night, Jongho.”

**Author's Note:**

> please leave kudos if u liked it 🥺  
> after the radio idol ep where jongho and mingi hugged and mingi tried to kiss him i had this Urge to write a fic with jongho being afraid of kissing, and found the lack of jongjoong content absolutely UNACCEPTABLE so this little baby was born. i wrote it in a few hours when i usually take Years to finish smth so im pretty happy!!  
> hope u enjoyed
> 
> come yell at me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/atzplay/) :D  
> i also opened commissions to check that out maybe!! <3


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